USER FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Who should see this?

Everyone. This is not just for those who are struggling with porn, though it will be useful to them. This is an educational and informational series designed for a general audience. Viewers will learn about how porn seriously damages relationships and how to have better ones. Men will gain great insight by watching the presentation specifically about women, and women will learn more about men by watching the presentation about men. Every session has something for everyone.

How old should youth be to see this?

Youth who are just beginning to think about starting a romantic relationship for the first time should see this, perhaps by starting with the youth-specific presentation. They are hearing misinformation from the internet and all kinds of other sources in their life, and it is better that they learn the truth here.

How graphic are the language and images?

Not at all. There are no graphic images of a sexual nature of any kind. While the videos do use the appropriate terms for human body parts, the use of that language is not the focus of any of the presentations.

How should we use the workshop?

While this series is designed to be used in a weekend, it doesn’t have to be. It’s also appropriate for small groups, men’s or women’s groups, youth groups, health or Bible classes, individuals, or even the whole church to use as a workshop.

What should we do when we’re finished with the workshop?

There are optional discussion questions on page 3 that you can use at the end of each session.

If you would like even more material and links to other resources, visit newfreedomtolove.org. There you can find a link to a more therapy-based, addiction-specific online course for use in battling a pornography addiction.

WORKSHOP ELEMENTS

Main Sessions

There are five main sessions presented before a live audience. Each speaker tackles a different dimension of the issues relating to love and connectedness and how pornography handicaps them. Presentations range in length from 40 to 60 minutes. Each session is appropriate for either gender. They can be watched in any order.

• Session 1: Erik Stenbakken gives the 30,000-foot view of the issue. He focuses on statistics, dimensions, and scale.
• Session 2: Mike Tucker explains the beauty of true love and intimacy and why we shouldn’t settle for anything less.
• Session 3: Bernie Anderson speaks straight to men. He tells his personal story about being addicted to porn while working as a pastor and how he eventually journeyed out of it into healthy relationships and healing.
• Session 4: Dr. Celeste Holbrook gives insight into the mind of women and the issue of pornography. She outlines what healthy relationships look like to women and how they can be achieved.
• Session 5: Troy Beans talks to the youth in the audience about the critical importance of choosing healthy goals now and how the choices we make today impact our happiness in the future. He sheds light on the reality of brain chemistry and its impact on relationships.

Unplugged Sessions

During the Unplugged sessions each presenter sits down and talks straight to those watching the video. There’s no script, no audience, and no boundaries—just straight, honest talk. You will hear some powerful stories, strategies, and insights here. While you can view the Unplugged sessions in any order at any time, they will make more sense if you watch the main presentation before the corresponding Unplugged. These range in length from 20 to 50 minutes.

Testimonials

These are powerful, true stories about how pornography has impacted the lives of the speakers. They can be used at the beginning of a program or presentation, or to begin a discussion. There is no particular order in which you should show them, but it is worth noting that Steve and Wendy are a married couple. Each is about 3-4 minutes.

Commercials

There are two short videos for you to download and use as advertisement for your workshop. You can use them on social media (just make sure to add your local place and time!), show them in church, or even use them as discussion starters in small groups. Use them however you think they will be effective in your approach to the workshop. Each is about 2 minutes long.

Welcomes

Each of the primary sponsors of this workshop has a special welcome and introduction video. They explain in very few words why they feel this workshop is vitally important. They are less than 2 minutes each.

Tips on Presentation

It’s highly recommended that you download each video before you plan to show it. A video stalled during streaming is no fun during a presentation. Also, test your media (whether downloaded or not) on the system you plan to use to make sure you have good audio and image.

For commercials, download the videos and re-upload them to your social media feed (or find one that’s already been uploaded and share it).

Discussion Questions

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to be an expert on this subject! That’s the work of the presentations. If you have more than twelve attendees and want to engage them in discussion, divide them into small groups of less than twelve each. We have included discussion questions that you can print out and have a leader in each group use as they lead out in a discussion. There are no right or wrong answers (so there’s no answer key!). If you can get your viewers to be part of the conversation, the material in the presentations will become more relevant.

Note: This is NOT the place for disclosing addictions or personal problems. This is discussion, not therapy.

OPTIONAL DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

These questions yield the best discussion in a group of less than twelve people.

Session 1: Erik Stenbakken

1. What was the most troubling statistic you heard today? Why?

2. What do these statistics say about today’s secular society? What do they say about our church?

3. What is one negative impact of porn you’ve never thought about before this?

4. How have you seen porn harm relationships?

5. You were made in the image of God. In what ways does porn betray that?

6. Why is fighting an addiction easier with a community than alone?

7. In what ways is porn unlike a real relationship?

Session 2: Mike Tucker

1. What things in your life are worth top priority?

2. Name some positive choices you can make to achieve those priorities.

3. What things could harm your ability to achieve those goals?

4. What harmful impact have you seen porn have on intimacy?

5. When dealing with the issue of porn in ourselves or others, what is the role of grace?

6. Mike says, “You deserve the best.” If you do (or do not) believe that, how does that impact your choices?

Session 3: Bernie Anderson

1. What factors can make a person more vulnerable to the temptation of porn?

2. Discuss the differences between a habit and an addiction.

3. Name some of the steps in Bernie’s recovery. Which one seems the hardest to you? Which seems the most impactful?

4. What are some of the challenges for a spouse of someone addicted to porn?

5. Talk about the power of a secret. What good things can happen once that silence is broken?

6. What practical steps can people take toward healed relationships and greater intimacy?

7. Besides porn, what are some barriers to true intimacy? What could change that?

8. How can the use of porn interfere with a relationship between a person and God?

Session 4: Dr. Celeste Holbrook

1. In what ways is sex powerful? How is it used today in ways that are counter-productive to real love?

2. Women, how does what Dr. Holbrook says correlate with what you know about women and love?

3. Men, did you learn anything about women from what Dr. Holbrook said that you didn’t know before or added a new dimension to something you already knew?

4. What does self-actualization look like for you in a relationship?

5. In what ways can you be more intentional in your relationships? List three specific things you can do.

6. What are some ways porn and sex are not comparable?

7. In what ways is a real relationship more rewarding than a counterfeit one?

Session 5: Troy Beans

1. What does Troy mean by a “bigger yes?”

2. What things in your life are a “bigger yes” for you?

3. How do the choices you make today impact your ability to get to your “bigger yes?”

4. What are some practical steps you can take now to remind yourself of your “bigger yes?”

5. Talk about the power of brain chemistry. What’s the danger in ignoring this factor?

6. Think about our body chemistry and biological drives. Are we helpless victims to these forces?

7. In a porn-filled culture, how can we keep the healthy qualities of our sexuality intact?

8. What is the conversation about porn like in your circle of friends? Are your values different?

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